Happy Jimi Day, bitches.

 

Mmm..cake!

 

 

Here it is, May 16th, my friend Jimi’s birthday. The 2nd one of which he is no longer here to celebrate.  I took the day off, and I didn’t make any appointments or plans for this day. I was planning on being pretty damned sad, and probably wallowing quite a bit, much as I’ve done the other milestones.

But there’s something that I’ve lately come to realize. After being my chief problem solver and confidant for many, many moons, I came to know what Jimi was going to say when I’d call him up with some (cough *EVERY* cough) problem I had. It seems that I’ve retained some shreds of this internalization..let’s call it my Inner Jimi.  I consult my Inner Jimi quite a bit regarding major and minor issues. The dude was wise. And, I’ll admit, my imagination falls sadly short sometimes when it comes to solutions. I lack objective. But I do my best and sometimes, it helps.

So over the past year..I wondered what I should do on this day to memorialize my friend. I thought about different rituals that I could do over the years to honor his memory.

Then, I asked my Inner Jimi what he would like for me to do.

“Live your life.”  I just feel like he wouldn’t want me crying as I light 33 sticks of Nag Champa incense while listening to Phish and wallowing in sad. I’ve known all along he wouldn’t want me sad, but up until now I just plain couldn’t help it. In my head, when Inner Jimi said “Don’t be sad! I’m okay!!” I would say “Too fucking bad, chief. I’M NOT OKAY!”

But today, I’ll try to be okay. Call it a birthday gift.

So far today, I spent a few hours cuddling in bed with my little family. Later, I’m going to snuggle a sweet little newborn and watch Xavier play with his bestie. Hopefully he won’t bite her, grab her ass or steal her things again.

We’re still SERIOUSLY struggling to get some damned sleep around here. I tried sleep training last week. That’s a whole other post though…let’s just say for now it didn’t work. I wish I knew why all the sudden  he’s waking up every 2-3 hours.  (And before anyone says just let him cry it out, let me tell you that I learned last week that it just doesn’t work for him. He doesn’t give up, ever. EVER.)

 

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