Crankass McFusserson

Don’t let that cute face fool you.

He’s the devil right now.


He is 9 months old, and I’m getting toddler behavior.

Last night, this child BIT MY FOOT, and when I said “ouch! Don’t bite my foot!” he started to cry. Like all babies should have footbiting rights and I was violating his civil liberties. He then proceeded to bite my other foot.

Boy am I glad I got my boobs out of there before all the biting started.

He won’t nap for more than 30 – 45 minutes, which is why my blogging has been minimal.  He wants to torture the dogs, ingest my phone, pull my hair, scratch my face, bite my appendages, rip out his dad’s chest hair, SCREAM, and he wants to walk or crawl but can’t quite figure it out. So he wants to stand and hold your hands. But then he tries to let go of your hands like “I GOT IT I GOT IT” and then he falls on his ass and screams some more.

You try to contain him in any way, you’re met with shrieks that will wake the dead. DON”T YOU FUCKING DARE PUT ME IN THAT GODDAMNED JUMPAROO!!!!

Your shit? He wants it.

Oh, and he has a cold right now. So in addition to all of his unpleasantries, that cute little face that MIGHT redeem has a steady stream of snot flowing from it. DON”T YOU FUCKING DARE TRY TO WIPE IT OFF!!!!

At least he seems to have gone back to sleeping through the night. I just couldn’t take this crap on an empty tank.

He’s waking up. See you in 18 years.




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